Dummies and Baby Sleep: When They Help and When They Become a Problem

Dummies, also known as pacifiers or soothers, can be one of those surprisingly controversial parenting topics.

But I don’t think they need to be.

There is nothing inherently wrong with using a dummy. Some babies love them, some aren’t particularly interested, and some babies have a much stronger desire to suck than others.

What matters is understanding what the dummy is doing for your baby, whether it’s working well for your family, and whether at some point it starts getting in the way of sleep rather than helping it.

Why dummies can be so helpful for newborns

In the newborn stage, sucking is incredibly soothing.

Babies are born with a strong sucking reflex and, for some babies, sucking is one of their most effective pathways to feeling calm. You’ll see babies sucking their hands and fingers, wanting to feed frequently or happily sucking on a dummy even when they’re not hungry.

Some babies have a particularly strong desire to suck. Others don’t. Both are completely normal.

For babies who really do find sucking soothing, I think a dummy can be a wonderful tool in the newborn stage.

When a newborn is overtired, overstimulated or simply finding it difficult to switch off, sucking can help them settle. Combined with other calming sleep cues, such as swaddling, white noise, a dark room and being held or gently settled, a dummy can sometimes be just the thing that helps them relax enough to fall asleep.

Babies will also often suck on the dummy while they’re settling, become drowsy, fall asleep and then let it drop out of their mouth. They don’t necessarily need it replaced every time they move between sleep cycles.

So, in those early months, if your baby loves their dummy and it’s working well for you, I don’t see a problem with using one.

What changes at around four months?

This is where things can become a little murkier.

At around four months, babies start developing much stronger preferences around how they get to sleep.

Their brains are learning from repetition. If your baby has repeatedly experienced sucking on a dummy as the way they relax and fall asleep, that becomes a very familiar pathway in their brain: This is how I get calm. This is how I go to sleep.

That isn’t a bad thing. It’s simply what they’ve learned.

But from around this age, I also like to start gently showing babies that there are other ways they can get calm.

We can begin supporting them to become comfortable lying in their cot, becoming relaxed, and gradually moving towards that lovely drowsy state without needing the dummy to do all of the work for them.

We’re not expecting a four-month-old to suddenly manage everything independently. We’re simply beginning to teach them more ways to get calm. We are widening their repertoire.

Why does my baby wake when the dummy falls out?

Interestingly, most babies don’t actually need the dummy to stay in their mouth while they’re asleep.

They might suck, suck, suck while they’re settling, become drowsy, fall asleep and then the dummy drops out. They can continue sleeping perfectly happily without it.

The problem usually comes when they wake more fully between sleep cycles.

If they wake enough to realise something has changed, they may look for that same familiar sensation of sucking to help them get calm and go back to sleep.

And at younger than about 8 months, they can’t reliably reach around the cot, find their dummy and put it back into their mouth.

So they call for you.

You replace it. They go back to sleep.

Sometimes that’s once or twice a night. Sometimes it’s many, many times!

And that’s really the question: Is the dummy actually causing a problem?

If your baby sleeps beautifully and you’re replacing the dummy occasionally and it doesn’t bother you, that’s absolutely fine.

If you’re doing endless dummy runs all night, then it may be time to reconsider how much your baby is relying on it.

Can my baby still learn to sleep well with a dummy?

Absolutely.

I don’t believe every four- or five-month-old needs to have their dummy taken away in order to become a good sleeper.

There is a lot we can work on while keeping it.

We can help your baby become more confident and relaxed in their cot. We can work on sleep timing, their sleep environment and the way you support them at bedtime and during the night. And importantly, we can begin teaching them other ways of getting calm.

They can become much less reliant on the dummy without necessarily removing it completely.

But there is one limitation we can’t really get around at this age:

If they wake wanting their dummy and can’t replace it themselves, they still need you.

If you’re happy with that, there’s no urgent reason to take it away.

What about as my baby gets older?

From around six months onwards, when I’m working with families, I generally start moving towards less reliance on the dummy.

My goal is for babies to become increasingly confident at getting calm in their cot without needing something that requires a parent to keep coming back and replacing it.

As they get older, we can also introduce other age-appropriate sources of comfort (ie a comforter) that they have more control over themselves.

By around eight months, many babies also have the coordination to learn how to find and replace their own dummy. If you want to keep using it, teaching your baby to replace it themselves can make an enormous difference.

How do I get rid of the dummy?

If you’ve decided the dummy is interfering with your baby’s sleep, there are two broad ways to approach it.

The quicker approach is to remove the dummy completely and support your baby while they learn another way to get calm.

There will probably be some frustration and protesting because you’ve taken away something very familiar. But we’re not simply taking away the dummy and leaving your baby to work everything out alone. You can still support them while they learn.

The more gradual approach is to reduce the dummy’s role while strengthening another way of settling.

For example, you might initially use another form of settling alongside the dummy, then gradually remove the dummy, and later reduce the additional support once your baby is comfortable.

This takes a little longer, but for some babies and parents it feels like a much more manageable transition.

Before you ditch the dummy…

Make sure you’re looking at the bigger picture.

A baby who is overtired, undertired or being put down at the wrong time is going to find settling difficult regardless of whether there’s a dummy involved.

Sleep timing, sleep pressure, environment, feeding, temperament, development and the way your baby has learned to get calm all interact with one another.

The dummy might be part of the picture, but it isn’t necessarily the problem.

So if it’s working, you don’t need to get rid of it simply because somebody told you dummies are bad for sleep.

But if you’re spending your nights running backwards and forwards replacing it, or your baby is becoming increasingly reliant on it to get calm, that’s when I would start working on other skills.

The goal isn’t simply to take something comforting away.

The goal is to gradually give your baby more ways to feel calm, relaxed and ready for sleep, so that, as they develop, they become increasingly confident doing this without needing so much help from you.

Case Study: 5-month-old Ethan

“My Ethan was 5 months old when Emma helped my family out of an entire month of his sleep regression within pretty much a week. Ethan has learnt to self-settle and resettle through his naps and nights without the dummy. We went from feeding 4-5 times a night down to just one and I don’t even need to swaddle him anymore. I could not thank you enough!”

If your baby’s dummy has gone from being a helpful settling tool to something you’re replacing all night long, or you’re simply not sure whether it’s contributing to their sleep difficulties, this is exactly the sort of thing I can help you work through.

We can look at the whole picture of your baby’s sleep and work out what they actually need.

Let's chat!